Buckets

Last time we saw each other, 6 months have passed by, now we meet and its almost 2 years we've been living under the same roof, sorry for repressing you, my consciousness.

Apart from the adaptation nothing much has changed since our last talk, only new metaphors, for ourselves.

As another relationship was ended, new adventures arrive yet I pose myself the following questions, am I really so empty, so robotic, so logic?

Is (deep) understanding a barrier in relationships? Straightforwardness a handicap?

According to my experiences, it seems that whenever I explain my form of thinking and facing life the subject tends to hide or retract like a snail hiding inside the shell at the prospect of a threat. Should one be less open?

So many questions you ask, consciousness...

I wonder where's the point of trying to find someone if you don't show your true self, since relationships should be based on straightforwardness and truth, I don't know why exposing yourself should be something to fear, accepting yourself is the cornerstone of any personality. Why is being faced with the reality you let others perceive something of a threat.

All these question are posed on the subject but there's a different reality...what if I'm the problem?! 

I think more and more about myself and my faults, that I think are not flaws, but as we are all different can be perceived as something threatening. I start to assume I'm the one who's wrong, I tend to see things and try to understand everything right away without judging the subject for whatever information I get. 

As the time passes by I find myself more and more lonely. I don't even know if I want to be with someone else anymore, I am like a bucket full of water under the "red hot" sun, while I think I still might have something inside me, a will to share my life with someone, at the same time I feel the sun evaporating the feelings in me, leaving nothing my reasoning...

One day there'll be nothing but a bucket, a recipient...an empty body...full of thoughts.